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October 6, 2003
Consult This
 
After literally days of soul-searching, I have finally decided to leave my agency job and pursue the path that will ensure a six-figure income with minimal work, constant demand for my services, and the instant respect of corporate and agency CEOs everywhere.

I’m now Danny G: Marketing Consultant.

Of course, I needed a business model first. So I went to the place all business plans are born: Starbucks.

I finished it in just 3 lattes. But it’s a work in progress, so dear readers, I will give you the first look. I welcome your feedback.

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DG: The Consultancy

Now more than ever, given the fractious relationships between agencies and clients, there is a need for a new paradigm for the conduit of constructive dialogue and process application.

The mission of DG Brand Consultancy is a simple one: We are dedicated to increasing the holistic, integrated synergies between marketers and their audiences at every point of contact. (I say “We” to make it sound impressive. It’s really just me--a one-person operation, like all consultancies are.)

What DG Consultancy offers you and your clients:

EXPERTISE: At DG Consultancy, we have over 30 years’ experience in product testing and sampling, purchasing, media consumption, experiential experience, and idea generation. All of which has been meted out in real-world, real-time applications both in the United States and abroad.

DIRECT INVOLVEMENT OF SENIOR STAFF: DG is committed to providing maximum personal attention to all clients. You will always deal with our Senior Consultants. To demonstrate this principle, when you call DG, you are immediately connected to a principal of the organization, thus also proving our dedication to client service. While DG consultancy searches for suitable office space, we are fully prepared to bring our services directly to you or hold off-site consultations at various Third Place locales (i.e., Borders or Starbucks).

COMPREHENSIVE MEDIA MARKETPLACE ANALYSIS: The parsed media landscape demands that all parties involved be fully apprised as to the vehicle options available for further communication dissemination. To this end, DG specializes in cross-platform Internet observations (i.e., “surfing”), and a complete daily intake of all niche network and cable television programming (i.e., "TV watching"). Given proper lead-time, the consultants at DG Consultancy will also compile competitive clippings in printed media (i.e., "a stack of magazines").

BRAND OBFUSCATION™: Brand Obfuscation™ is DG Consultancy’s proprietary process. By combining our proprietary process with our proprietary knowledge, DG Consultancy will provide insight into all situations affecting client/agency relationships and/or current market challenges. DG Consultancy will make recommendations as to sources of conflict and remedies. With DG’s independent, third-party, impartial and neutral input, all parties involved will benefit and recognize the superiority of DG Consultancy’s expertise. Brand Obfuscation™ will prove invaluable to client and agency teams as they attempt to maximize value and pursue successful marketing strategies.

MULTI-MEDIA PRESENTATION: Using the latest version of sophisticiated digital technology including PowerPoint, DG consultancy will produce a matrix of recommendations for further review. All rationales will be substantiated by a series of charts, graphs, and bullet-pointed conclusions using a wide palette of colors and multiple font sizes.

FEES: As DG Consultancy is a “Marketing Consultancy,” fees will be, of course, substantial. Since DG Consultancy streamlines the marketing process for all full-time employees of agencies and clients, it's wholly appropriate to allocate funds for our consulting services from the budgets previously earmarked for employee raises, bonuses, and health-care benefits.

IMPLEMENTATION FLEXIBILITY: The best part of DG Consultancy is our flexibility in the implementation process. Once we have properly analyzed the market situation and have made appropriate recommendations, it is incumbent upon our clients to pursue the best course of action that maximizes their input and synergies. It is at this point in the process that DG removes itself to allow all parties involved to combine energies to produce great results. DG Consultancy’s strength lies in analysis generation, not the substantial human error that often mars the real-world application of such recommendations. ______________________________________________

Well, that’s where it stands. I hope I’ve differentiated myself from all the other consultants out there.


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Since 2002, Dan Goldgeier has been writing the most provocative advertising columns about advertising and marketing -- over 170 of them, covering every related topic you can think of. Now based in Seattle, Dan is a copywriter and ad school graduate who's worked at shops big and small. 


Visit his copywriting websitesee his LinkedIn profile or follow him on Twitter.

And please, buy his book for 99 cents.

 

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