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Danny G lets loose with controversial, often hilarious and on-the-mark anecdotes about the advertising biz.

From Cliff To The Abyss	11/05/09
Most agencies attempt to do it all, style-wise: serious-minded work, goofball humor, sophisticated humor, “edgy work” (whatever that is), and every now and then a real sentimental tear-jerker. Few, if any, agencies do it all equally well. What would you need to create another agency like Cliff Freeman? Well, I’m not sure, but I’ll take a guess.

Capitalism: An Advertising Story

10/15/09

There will always be big brands competing for global dominance. But as we saw with GM and Washington Mutual, no brand is too big to fail. Maybe though, the advertising industry shouldn’t be thinking bigger, but thinking smaller. Did you know over 43% of the American workforce is employed by small businesses, defined as 500 people or less? Many of these businesses are brands that could use some dynamic creative thinking.

Life is Not a Two-Page Visual Solution Spread

09/24/09

Advertising in 2009 is much more tactically based: It’s the e-mail that introduces the iPhone app that resembles the TV spot that goes with the microsite that’s announced in the press release to launch the whole thing. There’s always something attractive and artful about a nice, uncluttered two-page spread or minute-long brand “anthem” TV spot. But the other elements of advertising are starting to do the heavy lifting—and clients know it. In this day and age, that’s what they need and seek.

Brands and Stands

09/03/09

So this is what we’re seeing: Left-wing Whole Foods customers getting themselves in a twist and others writing letters to Glenn Beck’s advertisers. Right-wingers pledging extra support to Glenn Beck’s ex-advertisers and praising John Mackey. Lots of noise. Lots of vitriol. And marketers getting distracted by having to step lightly around a vocal but small minority of their customers when they’d rather focus on increasing sales in a bad economy. But to some customers, boycotting is the only way they think they could make a difference.

Wherever You Go, There You Advertise

08/13/09

Despite the rise of chain restaurants and strip malls, America is not as homogenous as you might think. I got reminded of that on a recent trip to the other side of the country. Regionalism still plays a large role in defining our culture. And even if the ad agencies in a smaller market have their tentacles out far and wide for new business, many clients still display a provincialism in their outlook that can creep into the advertising they seek from their agencies.

Are You Smarter Than An Ad Student?

07/23/09

If you come out of college with a degree in advertising, odds are you could land a gig as a junior media planner or account coordinator. But no one, in any discipline of the ad business, receives any formal on-the-job training these days. Despite the precarious economy, there are still plenty of people who want to go into advertising. There’s no stopping them, and there’s no required degree or certification. While that’s little comfort to the experienced people looking for any way to hold on to their jobs and advance their careers, the juniors need help.

But Wait, There Really is More

07/02/09

It’s easy to make fun of Billy Mays and the other infomercials of the world. They’re loud, they’re pushy, they sell stuff we don’t think we need. But they work—to the tune of billions in sales. They’re more successful than anything that crates home the awards we tend to covet. We love to pride ourselves on uncovering “simple, human truths,” yet a lot of self-indulgent creative work doesn’t reflect that. I think advertising people of all kinds can find some lessons in what Mays did.

The Path To Empathy

06/11/09

In advertising agencies, empathy—in this case, the ability to understand an audience—is a skill, just like Photoshop prowess. It needs to be learned and honed for effective marketing. And yes, it should be an advantage for someone in advertising, at hiring time and on the job, if they come from a different background or upbringing than the majority of their co-workers. If creative people are judged by their unique talent, a unique background should be held in positive regard as well.

Nothing is Dead, So Let’s Bury that Idea	05/21/09
So ignore mindless blanket statements like “ad agencies are dead.” Unless agencies kill themselves, it’s not going to happen. Because nothing in our media culture dies — it gets reshaped, reinvented, remodeled, and resuscitated.

Read Globally, Be Pissed Locally	04/30/09
If you want change, think of your own life. What matters is you, your family, your co-workers, your community. If you’re a consumer and want to get upset, start with how you’re directly affected. Did the Domino’s video make you nauseous? Fine. But what you should be concerned about is whether your local county food inspector’s office is properly funded and staffed.

Couples Counseling for the Agency-Client Relationship

04/09/09

Most clients just aren't interested in the workings of their agencies, even if the people doing the work can provide better insight on the business or the client-agency relationship--which they often can, just from living with the account. The ball is in the marketer's court. They need to ask--and demand--to meet the very people who do the work. Not just the agency people who serve as stand-ins during a new business pitch.

Why Asking May Be the Answer	03/19/09
Just because something’s in writing, or appears to be the product of statistical analysis, doesn’t mean it can’t be questioned. Behind every piece of information you come across is a flawed source or a biased origin.

ROI: Advertising's Dirty Four-Letter Word	02/25/09
We have access to more data, more statistics, more slicing and dicing of numbers and tactics than ever. And has advertising gotten any better through the years? Hardly. Has the creative work improved? Nope. Less wasteful? Occasionally. Is it still mostly wasted money? Absolutely.

The Advertising Industry Stimulus Package	02/04/09
The ad industry is going through a rough time—just like other industries. But Congress won’t throw us a bone in a $1 trillion stimulus package. So you’ll be happy to know that I’ve got a stimulus package to present. It’ll help us and it’ll help our clients. Best of all, it only took me a couple of hours and cost only the price of a Venti Latte. But here goes:

The Fantasy of Reality-Based Advertising

01/14/09

Marketers are hardly altruistic, but a few of them like Hyundai are learning that people need some assurances right now. Brokerage firms are on TV telling people to stay the course with their investments and not panic. GM took out a trade ad to apologize for their past screw-ups and promising to do better in the future. You might think the majority of marketers will unveil a new understanding, a new empathy for these tough times. Forget it.

A Cheap High and New Lows	12/03/08
We rarely have the luxury of getting consumers to like a brand. Forget about the nonsensical garbage like “we can engage your customers with the brand and make them friends.” Customers aren’t looking to make your product their friend. They’re looking for a cheap one-night stand.

The War On Talent	11/06/08
Good people are everywhere. And it’s like not the ad industry has requirements. There’s no certification to acquire. No Bar exam to pass. Anyone who wants to get into the ad industry can try. Many try, but only some succeed. Consequently, it’s not a job seeker’s market and never has been.

From Wasilla to Madison Avenue	10/17/08
I have an idea: Put Sarah Palin on the new business team! She’s got the ability to take a simple question and spin an answer that, when dissected, is nonsensical gibberish. That’s a highly valuable skill. Come on, who better could spout off on a “holistic approach to best-in-class, paradigm-shattering messaging strategies”?

Read This or Else	09/25/08
So why do negative ads stay around? They work. They work because they hit a part of the human psyche we can’t ignore. Political consultants know this. But here’s the thing: as consumer advertising professionals, we know this, too.

Cutting Off a Campaign’s Legs	09/05/08
It used to be a real virtue to present an ad campaign idea that “has legs.” Now, it doesn’t matter so much. Today, it seems we’re committed to prematurely amputate any campaign that has legs. Is that a good idea?

The Loyal Treatment	08/14/08
In some agencies, you can get fired for violating a strict loyalty code. But what happens when you leave work in the evening?

The Defense of the Offensive	07/24/08
Often, the defense of offensive ads is just as irrational and nonsensical as the protests of the offended people.

Interactive Agencies and Passive Mentalities	07/03/08
Last week, there was a kerfuffle over the credits attached to the Cannes Lion-winning HBO “Voyeur” concept. Seems the interactive agency Big Spaceship thought it deserved more credit than the lead agency, BBDO, gave it.

Back to the Future of the Past	06/12/08
Advertising, like everything else, is full of rich history. Is it relevant?

Digitally Divided We Stand	05/22/08
It’s not that they wore their technological ignorance on their sleeves; rather, they were perfectly happy living their lives without the Internet and Web 2.0 and new media. To them, a “Twitter feed” means a bag of birdseed.

When Weird Works	05/01/08
It’s no secret that the ad industry is full of misfits. Smart, yes; passionate, yes; but misfits nonetheless.

Where Adweek Meets BusinessWeek	04/09/08
Can ad people ride out the economy’s ups and downs?

Some Free Thinking	03/20/08
Can the ad industry survive the pressures to charge less and cut costs?

Obamarketing	02/28/08
Lessons from a political campaign can be applied to ad campaigns

Chasing a Moving Target	02/07/08
America just might make history this year, but advertising lives in the past

Primary Lessons, And Secondary Ones Too	01/15/08
A presidential campaign, if anything, is marketing in warp speed

Year-End Closeout Thoughts	12/24/07
It’s time to look back—but more importantly, look forward

Outsourced Outside The Box	12/05/07
What might happen if creative jobs go overseas en masse?

Striking it Rich, or At Least Striking it Profitable	11/14/07
The ad industry isn’t Hollywood, but we’ve got the same money issues

The Importance of Filtering Actionable Jargon Into Buckets	10/23/07
More bizarre vernacular of the ad industry

A Carbon-Neutral Pile of Manure	10/02/07
Brands are going green—because there’s money in it, naturally

When Bad Ideas Happen To Good Agencies	09/13/07
If you think ad people love a good confrontation, you’re wrong

Getting Back to Your Agency’s Roots	08/22/07
Staff turnover is inevitable in the ad biz—but downcycles don’t have to be

Shuffling the Deckhands	07/25/07
Can agencies and clients move forward by moving people around?

A Diverse Set of Problems	06/12/07
We’re still in an age of mass marketing—and mass mediocrity

Harry Potter and the Obtuse Client	05/22/07
So who really are the ones with the short attention spans?

Surrounding Yourself With Breakthrough Nonsense	05/02/07
Are you communicating with customers or violating their space?

The Sanjaya Principle	04/09/07
Why does bad advertising, like bad singing, work so well?

The Agency Internal Combustion Engine	03/21/07
Is your shop chugging along smoothly or choking on the fumes?

The Law of the Advertising Landscape	03/05/07
How much government regulation do advertising and marketing need?

Dinosaurs, Cockroaches, And Guerrillas	02/15/07
Advertising is all the same—to the public, anyway

Of So-Called Rock Stars and Stage-Hogging Poseurs	01/23/07
Can we lower the volume of ego-inflating industry hyperbole?

Rescuing Lost Brands	12/30/06
What happens when brands stray from their core values?

Righting the Writing	12/06/06
When clients insist on bad copy—by writing it themselves

Be Borat or Be Boring	11/14/06
Can we ever convince our clients to stop being so literal?

The Tale of Retail	10/21/06
The buzz may be online, but stores with doors still need our help

The Consumer is Not a Moron. Or am I?	09/26/06
If you work in advertising, can advertising work on you?

Hardback Books and Hard Truths	09/04/06
What can you learn from a book about an ad agency?

HeadOn--and Production Values Off	08/12/06
The growing popularity of badly made ads and viral videos

The Interactive Ghetto	07/22/06
Agencies are scrambling for talent to produce web work—and are determined to segregate them

This Land was Hand-Crafted for You and Me	06/29/06
Perhaps we should rename this country the United States of Advertising

This Column Brought to You by People For Stuff	06/12/06
Is there anyone willing to advocate for advocacy advertising?

Safe, Shit, and Everything Else That Happens	05/22/06
Life isn’t pretty. So how do people handle advertising that isn’t pretty?

7-Layer Ads	05/01/06
How do ad concepts survive the chain of client approvals?

**This Column is Not Valid in Indiana	04/10/06
What the fine print really means for marketers

Oh, the Humanity	03/20/06
Is the advertising business losing the human touch?

Living In the Echo Chamber	03/01/06
Meet the new clutter—same as the old clutter

Scrubbing Bubbles and Flubbing CEOs	02/08/06
Strong advertising reflects corporate culture—and outsiders need to beware

The Super Critics	01/19/06
The ad world's biggest showcase is everyone's turn to weigh in

I Want My CA, and I Want My MTV	12/29/05
Is it fair to compare today’s work to what was done in the past?

The Bald Midget and the Furniture Store Owner's Daughter	12/05/05
As media splinters, what will become of local advertising?

Polluting the Mental Environment	11/15/05
Why TV advertising's effectiveness is melting away like the polar ice caps

The French Evolution	10/25/05
Unfettered hero worshipping in the ad biz? Now that’s crap

Directly Speaking, Can We Control Ourselves?	10/04/05
If you're personally affected by bad advertising, maybe you'll think twice about foisting it on the public

Stuck on Stupid	09/13/05
Advertising and PR don't work well if they don't jibe with reality

When A.D.D. Adds Up to Crapola	08/24/05
Can short-lived campaigns and small projects lead to long-term success and big ideas?

Taking Size 14 and 36DD Risks	08/02/05
Two new ads show some skin—but do they show any guts?

The Home for the Strategically Challenged	07/12/05
Can you ever make a great ad from a bad strategy?

If You’ve Been Injured by an Ad Agency...	06/22/05
Can there be malpractice in an industry with no standards and practices?

Madison Avenue, Main Street, and the Arab Street	05/31/05
To win hearts and minds, or merely wallets, perception is everything

Madison Avenue, Main Street, and the Arab Street	05/31/05
To win hearts and minds, or merely wallets, perception is everything

Installing an Upgrade to Ad Industry 2.0	05/10/05
How to make sure you evolve—even if your agency and your co-workers don’t

Maximizing Our Skill Sets to Enable Synergistic Crap

04/16/05

Desperate Housewives and Desperate Senators	03/30/05
If cable TV gets fined for indecency, will advertising be next?

Boeing and Banging	03/09/05
Boeing’s CEO had an affair and got fired. Maybe a career in advertising would suit him better

H-P and the Bigger Picture

02/16/05

Wardrobe Malfunctions and Advertising Dysfunctions	01/24/05
Can advertising still surprise people when real-life is even more jarring?

It’s All About the Benjamins--or the Bernbachs	01/05/05
Are making good ads and making good profits mutually exclusive?

New Words for the New Year	12/12/04
Because sometimes writers invent ‘em when they’re tired of using all the old ones

Addicted to Advertising	11/25/04
Is pharmaceutical marketing benign—or is it a cancer on society?

Black, White, and Spot Color	10/12/04
Will advertising agencies ever reflect a diverse America?

In the Land of the Fee	09/21/04
Consumers keep paying more, but it doesn’t mean less advertising

Corvettroversy	08/30/04
When an ad or idea gets muzzled, is it act of responsibility or censorship?

Advertising Week (or maybe it’s Advertising Weak)

08/10/04

Clear Problem, Clear Solution	07/20/04
When the 800-lb. gorilla says there are too many ads, we should pay attention

I Cannes Tell You Exactly What Happened	06/26/04
A report from the south of…uh…France, I think

Word-of-a-Whole-Lot-of-Mouths-Advertising	06/10/04
These days, the world is just one big-ass focus group

The Bastards Among Us	05/21/04
Can ad people act like true professionals when we’re encouraged to push boundaries?

Subservient Agency	05/01/04
How do some agencies get away with stuff that others can’t?

FBI, CIA, AAAA, and CYA	04/14/04
How both the government and the ad industry play the blame game

From a No Show to the One Show	03/31/04
A tale of two creative superstars who weren’t always stars

Brands Flying Blind	03/10/04
When advertising seems like a waste of cash

Trump and Chumps	02/17/04
For a moment, advertising got a glimpse of reality

A Super Lesson

01/27/04

The Soul of Soles	01/14/04
One brand breaks all the rules—and the results are wonderful

Slippery Jelly at the Helm of a Dubious Idea	12/22/03
Wanna work at Wieden? Pay up, sucker.

This is Your Holding Company on Drugs	12/08/03
Why do sister agencies end up in new biz catfights?

I'm the Best Columnist Ever	11/17/03
Why am I so superior? I said so, that’s why

Living Under the Bus	11/03/03
When people disagree over creative concepts, does anyone really win?

Random Questions	10/27/03
Just some things keeping me up nights

Consult This	10/06/03
My new career begins right here, right now

Just Sue It	09/16/03
Two ad-related lawsuits you need to know about

Queer Eye for the Ad Guy

08/26/03

Telemuckraking	07/15/03
Want consumers to respond? Tell them you’ll leave them alone

Majority to Minority	06/24/03
Are middle-aged white ad guys facing extinction?

Can’t We Just Be Friends?	06/04/03
Dealing with friendly, and unfriendly, co-workers in the ad business

Jumping The Shark	05/13/03
Why are some shops hot, cold, or dead?

In The Belly Of The Beast	04/24/03
What I learned by spending a few days at Talent Zoo

Getting Embedded With the Client	04/01/03
What advertising can learn from a televised war?

Leaping to The Dark Side	03/11/03
Why aren’t more ad accounts serviced in-house?

Geezertising

02/18/03

Chapter 11 in The Book Of Advertising	01/30/03
Is a client's business failure our fault?

This Column is Gold, Baby	01/07/03
Your guide to entering awards shows

Screw Unto Others...	12/18/02
Religion and Advertising: Two very similar, and sinister, concepts.

On Killer Books and Hard-Hitting Executions	11/26/02
The bizarre vernacular of the ad industry

Advertising For Columbine	11/05/02
The message we send to consumers: Be afraid--be very afraid

“60 Minutes” and a Brilliant Marketing Minute	10/15/02
How Donny Deutsch Made Advertising Relevant Again--For a Moment

The Enemies Down The Hall	09/24/02
Can't the various disciplines all just get along?

Hey, Luke, Squeeze This	09/10/02
A plea for some useful advice

The Creative Teamsters	08/12/02
What if advertising people had a union?

This Agency's For You	07/23/02
The industry’s sucking wind--maybe advertising agencies should try advertising

I’m Not Lying To You Right Now	07/08/02
Did corporate America learn the art of lying from advertising?

I Got Your Account Planning Right Here, Pal	06/13/02
Do we really wanna know what consumers think?

Why Few People Respect Advertising in the Morning	06/02/02
Why few people respect advertising in the morning (or any other time of day).

Are You Targeting Me? Are You Targeting ME?	05/21/02
As long as they don’t know too much about me, I'm all for 1-to-1 marketing.

My Client, The Bait-and-Switch Sleazebags	03/21/02
Why would honest agency people work for dishonest clients?

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