Sometimes it’s fun to embrace jargon. Below are 20 outlandish examples of corporate jargon that could be used when speaking with co-workers, or with your boss, or at just the right moment during a meeting. (Terms come from the Urban Dictionary and The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary.)
1. Anecgloat—a story that makes the speaker look good.
Before every department meeting we hear some anecgloat about sports.
2. Anticipointment—how you feel when something does not live up to its hype.
Many of our executives felt anticipointment when the results of the engagement survey were announced.
3. Bacon job—a project with plenty of volunteers.
Working that conference in Las Vegas is this year’s bacon job.
4. Break someone’s crayons—to harm or offend a person.
I don’t mean to break your crayons, but you need to work on your people skills.
5. Captive lunch—when management brings in food at noon.
The pizza for today’s captive lunch comes at a steep price: Dale is being honored as Employee of the Month.
6. Chicken shop —a company or department that produces substandard work. Everyone knows Purchasing is the chicken shop of the company.
7. Createalytics—manipulating data to support a decision that’s already been made.
We have to come up with some createalytics to support our use case.
8. Deceptionist —a receptionist whose job is to delay and/or block visitors.
Jill, the third-floor deceptionist, kept one sales guy waiting for 45 minutes.
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