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Suzanne Somers Needs to Stick to Informercials and '80s TV
By: Shawn Paul Wood
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Once upon a time, in an apartment a long, long time ago, was a woman America knew as Chrissy. She was a dolt who snorted when she giggled and was so dumb she had to study for a urine test, but nonetheless, this country loved her. Sure, she had Jack to lean on and Janet to support her, but that was the '80s sitcom "Three's Company." Following the cancellation of the show, Suzanne (Chrissy) Somers went on to broader horizons — infomericals.

Yeah, that acting career wasn't amounting to much, so she introduced The Thighmaster. And when consumers discovered the wonder of "a gym membership," I believe it's called, Suzanne Somers faded into the twilight. Syndicated on TVLand, showing up for autographs and the occasional QVC appearance for bad makeup. She was rumored to be on the side of the frequent milk carton until this week when she penned an editorial in the Wall Street Journal that slammed the Affordable Care Act (aka "Obamacare") as a "socialist Ponzi scheme."

Of course, she took one side of the story, went full-bore into "limiting consumer choice" and "dependence on the government," then pulled out the new one: "this is a greater Ponzi scheme than that pulled off by Bernie Madoff." Barring the grammatical fubar of that last sentence, I'm sure you can see someone at the prestigious landmark of unbiased journalism known as the WSJ feels pretty bad putting out an op-ed written by someone with the aforementioned Chrissy mindset labeled as an expert.

Sure, she has written more than 20 books on fitness and weight loss. I'm certain she feels fairly up-to-date on current healthcare affairs. And I can bet that her pride in this country is at a relatively high level, but seriously?! Someone who calls himself or herself an editor didn't catch the tomfoolery of this article? Was it all done for ratings to get folks like me to rant about it? I could believe the talking heads of the Journal thought this would be a fine April Fool's joke, you know, if it were in the spring. Since this is the fall, I can only assume someone really thought this was a grand idea. And then this was added to the article:

An earlier version of this post contained a quotation attributed to Lenin (“Socialized medicine is the keystone to the arch of the socialist state”) that has been widely disputed. And it included a quotation attributed to Churchill (“Control your citizens’ health care and you control your citizens“) that the Journal has been unable to confirm.

Also, the cover of a Maclean’s magazine issue in 2008 showed a picture of a dog on an examining table with the headline “Your Dog Can Get Better Health Care Than You.” An earlier version of this post incorrectly said the photo showed and headline referred to a horse. 

So, there's that. So much for the higher standards of journalism. Now what did I do with that Ab-Lounger? I have an idea about the government. 

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About the Author
Shawn Paul Wood is a hack-turned-flack with more than 20 years of collective journalism, copywriting and marketing communications experience. Shawn Paul is founder of Woodworks Communications in Dallas, Texas. If you need him, ping him here or follow him on Twitter @ShawnPaulWood
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