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PR Fail: 60 Minutes Shows that A-Rod is a Rat Too
By: Shawn Paul Wood
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(Make no mistake, the New York Post is complete greatness!) 

Whelp, "As the Stomach Turns" — the daily baseball saga starring Alex Rodriguez, and co-starring all of his PED and horse steroids underlings — just went to a new low. In an investigative report by CBS juggernaut 60 Minutes, we have news that A-Rod not only is being found guilty of doping for his entire career, but that when faced with guilt, he goes the classy, manly way — he rats out his teammates?! 

"60 Minutes" has learned that members of the New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez's inner circle in February obtained and leaked documents that implicated Milwaukee Brewers slugger Ryan Braun as well as his own Yankee teammate, catcher Francisco Cervelli, in the doping scandal that has enveloped Major League Baseball. 

While in Seattle, A-Rod had greatness. When he came to Texas, his suck-out-loud meter spiked and he was sent packing. Now in the Big Apple, that fruit is rotten to the core. (The apple, not...well, you know what I mean.) Last week, I penned an open letter to MLB Commissioner Bud Selig because this imbroglio is greatly his cross to bear. That fool should have done something for the game long ago, but steroids, HGH, PEDs, and Andro got butts in seats, so MLB and Selig's cronies turned a blind eye. Now that this is out of control, fans are hurling the stink eye in his direction. Meanwhile, they are saving other choice gestures for A-Rod. Cue the legalese: 

In a statement to "60 Minutes," Rodriguez lawyer David Cornwell said, "The allegations are untrue and are another attempt to harm Alex — this time by driving a wedge between Alex and other players in the game. While Alex focuses on baseball and repeatedly states that he is going to respect the appeal process [of his looming 212-game suspension], the drumbeat of false allegations continues." 

I wonder if this dude has ever heard of Neil Peart, hall-of-fame rocker and all-time drummer stud from RUSH, because not even he could thump that fast. Allegations, innuendo, and gotcha statements are coming out of the woodwork because MLB is full of termites, Mr. Lawyer, sir. And A-Rod is pied piper for those pests. They all follow him because he's that vain to believe he would never get caught. Barry Bonds was like that — Cooperstown talent before his head grew three sizes and vanity run amuck to believe he would never get stuck with that voodoo doll pin. Guess what? That fraud will never see those cherished halls. Now A-Fraud is in the same sinking vessel. 

You remember the scene (and the story) from "Titanic" where the captain literally chose to go down with the ship? I think a gaggle of musclebound brutes from MLB should take Bud Selig, his compression socks, and CPAP machine, tie that fool to Pesky's Pole in Fenway Park, and egg the crap out of him. Maybe throw empty scringes at his tail, too. Maybe then he will realize what he has allowed to happen to this great game. If not that, then hopefully the colossal fall of A-Roid will be a close second. 

P.S. Thank you, 60 Minutes. MLB fandom owes you big time! 

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About the Author
Shawn Paul Wood is a hack-turned-flack with more than 20 years of collective journalism, copywriting and marketing communications experience. Shawn Paul is founder of Woodworks Communications in Dallas, Texas. If you need him, ping him here or follow him on Twitter @ShawnPaulWood
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