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Why All Facebook Page Managers Should Be Terrified
By: Kimberly Shrack
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As someone who manages a brand page, I like to stay on top of what other brands are doing to engage their audiences. Developing content for these things isn’t easy — and as a result, you get some posts that are less about engaging and more about harvesting likes (which isn’t engagement, people). Like most things, brand pages come in the good, the bad, and the ugly — and now the satirical.
Condescending Corporate Brand Page is probably the greatest thing I have ever seen (next to this). It captures and mocks the transparent things brand pages do to up their like count — and okay, goes a little over the top to prove a point. Here are some examples:
  • A photo contest of your dog posing with a fruit or vegetable (you know what they say about animals and babies and vegetables)
  • A photo of a woman doing yoga on the beach with an “inspirational” quote that includes the phrase, “You’re probably utterly pig-sick of seeing these pathetic beach scene images, aren’t you?”
  • “Viral content” developed by Condescending Corporate Brand’s “quirkily-named” digital start-up company who will be “instructed to like this in droves to show us that this is the most worthwhile spend of our Marketing budget.”
And while a lot of their posts are over the top, like their Social Media Dog Feeding Game that requires enough likes in order for them to feed their dog, they also post examples from real brand pages. These examples are some of the worst of the worst — it’s actually shocking they aren’t satirical themselves. Take, for instance, the graphic posted on KLM’s Facebook page, which includes a numbered dots image of a thumbs up next to the KLM logo with the cue to connect the dots. Subtle. Or the Holiday Inn’s photo of employees standing in the shape of a giant heart with the caption, “Can we let you in on a little secret?! We love our Facebook fans!” Gag.
And they aren’t finding this bad content on their own — they have a section on their page that encourages their followers find other brand pages that “try to be just as engaging and viral with their posts as we do” and instructs them to “@reply them here so we can all share in their collective brilliance.” And, ironically, Condescending Corporate Brand page has done pretty well for itself in terms of followers, with more than 19,000 at the time of posting. Which means no brand page is safe from satire.
Condescending Brand Page is truly must-follow, read every day type of content for any and all Facebook brand page managers. To be honest, as I was reading through those posts, there were one or two things that made me cringe — because they were things I had definitely done before. This page really highlights how transparent and cheesy those like-grabbing posts really are, and is enough to make me never, ever do them again out of both embarrassment and terror that they might find it.
So if you run a brand page, be sure to get your s**t together. And quick. If not, you might just end up somewhere you really, really don’t want to be.


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About the Author
Kimberly Shrack is a PR pro based in Philadelphia, specializing in writing and content development. She has worked in communication for a variety of industries including technology, travel, art, and healthcare. Follow her on Twitter at @kjshrack.
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