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PR Pros, Justin Bieber May Want Your Job
By: Shawn Paul Wood
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Whoever was the Pollyanna sage that opined the adage, "Turn that frown upside down," did not meet the progeny of said dictum that is the "Biebs." Just was a "Biebs" — or a "Bieber" — you may ask? 

Apparently, he's a crisis communications savant that moonlights as a questionable tweenie heartthrob and cracking-voice crooner. At least that was the obvious conclusion when we see what was unveiled after the latest Bieber ballyhoo, according to TMZ.com

We find our dusky-hued lovelorn beau out for a brisk day of shopping in Calabasas, Calif., probably for the latest Precious Moments figurine, when suddenly from the shadows comes a ne'er-do-well paparazzo trying to get a snapshot. Now, I would just as soon make anyone in the paparazzi listen to "Baby" until their ears bleed, and it seems I'm not the only one. 

Our hero, riddled with angst and pre-pubescence, looked at the photog and probably said something to the sort of, "Golly-gee-willikers. Will you please move, sir? I have a bus to catch to be home in time for my curfew." And then he opened a can of whoop-@$$ on the guy?!?! 

A paparazzo attempted to take Justin's picture and, according to law enforcement, some sort of physical altercation erupted between Justin and the camera guy. The photog called 911, and when cops arrived Justin and GF [girlfriend] Selena Gomez had already split. The photog complained of pain to his upper torso, an ambulance was summoned and he was taken to a local hospital where he was examined and released a short time later. 

To wit, a misdemeanor assault charged was filed naming Justin as the suspect, according to the Los Angeles Times. In other news, the acting lesson by said vermin photog will be considered by the Razzies for "worst excuse of a beatdown result in the history of ever." With a guy like Bieber, you would assume this is big news. It is, and what does Justin do with those lemons? Make a sweet lemon garlic tilapia with a nice soufflé for dessert. 

While many print and Internet stories are focusing on the cockamamie charges from Bieber protecting his right for privacy, the TV talk shows are singing a different tune. Well, "Die In Your Arms" to be exact.

It seems someone coached Bieber very well on the fine art of flagging during an interview as he is spinning every appearance to focus on his new single. Coincidentally, the song is already skyrocketing up iTunes' charts and getting increasingly popular airplay on radio stations. As if he needed any help with 20 million sheep...er, followers on Twitter. 

Well played, young bielieber. Well played.

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About the Author
Shawn Paul Wood is a hack-turned-flack with more than 20 years of collective journalism, copywriting and marketing communications experience. Shawn Paul is founder of Woodworks Communications in Dallas, Texas. If you need him, ping him here or follow him on Twitter @ShawnPaulWood
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