Greetings from Planet Google!

I was born on Earth, the third planet from the sun in a small solar system within the Milky Way galaxy. Now, I live here, on Google.

It's a nice place to visit so you should come see me sometime. It's not an ideal place and not everyone would be comfortable living here. But if you come for a visit and decide to become a G-transplant, I'd be happy to help show you around and meet some of your new neighbors.

We have a very organized society based on the fact that we all speak Googlese and, if you don't, you can simply look up the definition of words we're using. It's a friendly world, since we often Wave to each other whenever we get a chance. Of course, the best way to meet your new neighbors will be to check in on our social activities via our Calendars so you know what we're up to and how you can join in. Once you find out where we're at and what we're doing, joining our activities is as easy as checking out a Map to find your way there.

If you aren't comfortable meeting with new people face-to-face, you can always just do a quick Chat with us and then, as you become more comfortable with your new way of life, you can give us a Voice call. Not sure of your neighbor's phone number? No problem!

Of course, no matter how you reach out to your new neighbors, it would be helpful for you to know some of the most important subjects we're talking to each other about. So make sure you give the latest news a Fast Flip so you can get caught up. And if you find a story you're particularly interested in, make sure you share it with your neighbors so they can put in on their Reading list as well. What better way to make new friends?

Oops, sorry I can't spend more time inviting you to Planet Google just now. But my Inbox is starting to overflow with Documents I need to review. We're a hyper-multitasking bunch. Whoa, wait, you don't hyper-multitask? Well, you could search for other ways to be more productive but I doubt you'll find them.

Google is the word. Google is the way. Google is -- what? What do you mean your Internet access is spotty? Um, well, you can still take care of your mail even when you're Offline so that you can at least keep up with older stuff. Of course, you could always resort to Google Classic, if you want to be a luddite. What do you mean you've never heard that term? Well, Let Me Google That For You.

Anyway, as I said, I have to go...but don't worry, if you want to talk some more about this later, check out my Latitude and maybe we can meet up for coffee.

Googlebye for now.