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Click Here for Bullsh*t
By: Ari B. Adler
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Have you been asked to "orchestrate real-time networks" or "strategize e-business metrics?" If so, you need to visit the Web Economy Bullsh*t Generator. Then you can tell your boss your plate is already full with "streamlining magnetic e-markets."

When it comes to the Web, too often we fall into the trap of speaking gibberish because it sounds impressive even when it's not really saying anything at all. If you are the one tasked with making up this crap, your problems are solved thanks to the folks at dack.com, who say they've just celebrated the 10th anniversary of the Generator and its ridicule of buzzwords. Yes, buzzwords have been around for a long time, but it seems the Web-related ones lately really have taken us to new heights of nonsense. How else can you explain randomly stringing a noun, a verb, and an adjective together and coming up with something like "utilize out-of-the-box infomediaries."

The reason so many of these buzzwords continue to populate our vocabulary is that few of us are willing to admit we don't know what the hell someone just said. After all, if we don't understand it, are we behind the times? Will we look bad to our peers, or worse, to our bosses? Will we soon see that 20-something in the cube next to us leapfrog into the real office with a door we've been pining for? So we sit there and nod, trying desperately to come up with another combination of buzzwords that sounds even more amazing and edgy. I sure hope there's an app for that soon, so we can handle this task with ease even when we're on the go.

The reviews are almost as funny to read as the buzzword sentences:

"I'm gonna copy and paste this stuff when I get to writing my own business plan. Cool stuff."

"Do you realize you are going to crash 99% of the Internet Strategy Consultancy? Shut down the Generator as soon as possible, please or we'll need to look for another job!!!"

"The Web Bullsh*t Generator is phenomenal...my resume never looked so good!"

But don't take their word for it. Head on over to the Web Economy Bullsh*t Generator and try it out for yourself, or, rather, go use this cutting-edge technology where you can benchmark extensible functionalities to incubate compelling solutions that meet your needs, or something.

(Photo courtesy of Cruccone's Flickr photostream.)

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About the Author
Ari B. Adler is a professional communicator with a vast array of experience in media, public, and government relations for public and private sector employers. Read his blog, Here Comes Later, and follow him on Twitter.
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