It's been said nothing is certain but death and taxes. Taxes, though, have loopholes, and nobody escapes death. Unprejudiced in its selection, death pays a visit to all in the end: rich or poor, good or bad, and religious or agnostic.
According to a hilarious new novel, even fictional characters "deserve" this date with death. The book, "Mr. Ed: Dead: And Other Obituaries of the Most Famous People Who Never Lived," humorously explains the deaths of hundreds of fictional characters that range from Snow White to Forrest Gump. The book's premise is advertising mascots and fictional TV characters have fictional lives; therefore, they deserve creative deaths.
Presented in scrapbook form with clippings of news stories, ads, and police reports, "Mr. Ed: Dead" covers these characters' rise and ultimate fall. Inigo Montoya, the swashbuckling Spaniard from "The Princess Bride," and the Flying Nun are two characters from the big and little screens that are included.
Advertising mascots like Joe Camel and Betty Crocker aren't around anymore, either. Betty Crocker lived a rich, full life, dying at age 88; according to the book, she's "rich, but no longer moist." In tragic irony, Spuds Mackenzie, mascot and party animal for Bud Light, was run down a teen driver who consumed too much light beer. Spuds' iconic sunglasses and Hawaiian shirt now on sale to the highest bidder.
Written by Barry Nelson and Tom Schecker and published by Source Books, the book can be found online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, IndieBound, and Powell's. If you're looking for a witty and interesting read in an effort to escape today's way-too serious news, pick up a copy. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.
For me, there's nothing more fitting or funnier than those who receive their just desserts. Take the case of Snow White. After becoming queen, she met karma. The once fair and comely queen never again whistled while she worked.
The Seven Dwarves, once miners, get rejected seven times by their HMO when they claimed treatment for black lung disease.