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The Apocalypse is Near: Hope You Can Live in a Fast-Paced Environment
By: Brian Keller
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Advertising has been a barometer on the state of the world as it borrows from culture, trends, and events. After studying some of this year's work in our last column, it’s decided that the apocalypse is close. Part two of 2016.  

If there is a 2017, "generating the big idea in a fast-paced environment" will be a skill to nurture as most people need slow-paced environments and they tend to generate small ideas. They may be able to compete by becoming team players and brand stewards while providing thought leadership and perspective for adoption after taking a deep dive.  

Trending: Occupational Trends in 2016
“Digital advertising, also called Internet advertising ("Internet marketing") is when businesses leverage Internet technologies to deliver promotional advertisements to consumers.”
Plain old advertising
"Advertising is defined as “the activity or profession of producing advertisements for the commercial products or services of businesses targeted to consumers.”

If the world continues advertising, professionals must adapt to the digital space or face a career apocalypse. Digital advertising is tough to understand as opposed to traditional advertising. 
An ad for a Digital Creative Director contains 912 enlightening words. A similar ad for a position titled just Creative Director came in at 508 words. Both were posted online. The  “Creative Director” post will probably not be viewed as it's a digital post and beyond the reach of most people.

Sidebar: An ad for an Academic Cardiothoracic/Transplant Surgeon came in at 141 words.

Note: If you are lucky enough to hide your lack of "digitalness" and speak to a job poster (digital), it could go like this: 

Them: "You don't seem to be involved in the digital space."

Turn the interview around with a digital interview saver like this: 

You: “I'm totally invested. I just bought Queen’s Greatest Hits Volume 1 on vinyl for just $32.39 at Barnes and Noble. I hear they brought in Bub Asman and Alan Robert Murray (Academy Award winners best sound editing 2015, American Sniper) during the remaster to recreate, digitally, pops and hisses, which had been digitally removed from the original tracks. I'm curating it now; you know analog to digital and back to analog is the new digital.

Them: "You curate. Wow."

You: "Totally. I’d like to curate this: Let's bring back the photographs of Dorothea Lange and Walker Evans and colorize those depressing  black-and-white Depression photos. Then we "Photoshop" Flo into them and create hysterical Flo memes for Progressive and boom, the Depression, hah, progressively becomes funnier."

Them: "LOL, I was thinking that." 

You: "I totally love LOL." 
In 2016 copywriters were replaced by content strategists.

“Copywriting is written content based on a strategy and conveyed through various media and helps boost the client's business objectives and raise awareness among customer's or end user's needs. Copy is content primarily used for the purpose of advertising or marketing. This type of written material is often used to persuade a person or group as well as to raise brand awareness.”

Content Creation
“The core function of the content creator's job is developing a content strategy based on a company's or client's business objectives and raise awareness among customer's or end user's needs. Creative professionals in this role oversee content requirements and create content strategy deliverables across a project lifecycle.”

Content creation is very complicated. If you want to eat in 2017 and beyond then know the difference. We've included tips from an article written and published in 2014 on becoming a great content creator. Content creation is difficult for laypeople to understand. 

From “7 Things That Really Great Content Creators Do” 

“Anyone can report on a topic, but it takes a seasoned content creator to actually reach people with their writing.” (Author’s note: This refers to creating content, not just writing regular old words.)

“In order to become a really great content creator, you must have a strong understanding of not only the subject matter itself but also the internal and external factors that help it take shape.” 

1. “They Understand Their Audience” (Author’s Note: Writers understand their audience’s neurosis.)
2. “They Talk About More Than Themselves” (Author’s Note: Writers can’t do that)
3. “They Make Smarter Decisions” (Author’s Note: Writers decided to become writers…not a smart decision,)
4. “They Repurpose” (Author’s Note: Writers borrow.)
5. “They Update” (Author’s Note: Writers are too neurotic to look back.)
6. “Great content creators know how to keep their writing fresh.” (Author’s Note: Yes, like this refreshing article.)
7. “They Write Consistently” (Author’s Note: Why? We don't understand this one.)

In 2016 art directors have been replaced by digital designers.

"Digital designers develop an agency’s digital design capability by creating inventive concepts that exceed client expectations and ensure the proper messaging and image is conveyed to consumers."

"Art directors ensure that their clients' desired message and image is conveyed to consumers. Art directors are responsible for the overall visual aspects of an advertising or media campaign."

These jobs are close, but as you can see, an art director creates work that does not exceed client expectations and they create "noninventive" concepts. So, if you’re an art director, you'll need more training in expectation exceeding and inventive concept creating.

Stuff We’ve Seen in ’16
Facebook announced that Facebook Attends Cannes Lions 

Mark Zuckerberg used Facebook Live to post video of his food (live and not static) at the many dinners he and the Facebook staffers attended.
An Advertising Announcement that Gave Some Hope: Yay for Google 
“In May Google announced that all payday loans and high-interest loan ads would now be banned. Later that month, Google also announced that ads from third-party tech support services would no longer be allowed because of ‘serious quality issues.’”

Miller Lite Redux
With nothing refreshing to say about Miller Lite's beer, Miller Lite pulled out work from the past when the work and the beer were refreshing. And, not to be outdone by any direct mail messenger, Miller Lite also created work about their original bottles being back for a limited time only.

Our Chromosomes Have Been Hacked: Some Promos for Magazine Covers in 2016
Is it Trump or is it the Russians or is it Trump and the Russians?

1. Cosmopolitan: “Sexy Hair.”
2. Bazaar: “What’s Sexy Now.”
3. Cosmopolitan: (saying sod off, Bazaar) “Sex Moves That Change Lives.”
4. Marie Claire: (Says nuts to Cosmo and Bazaar) “The Sex Toy That Broke The Internet.”
5. Women’s Health: “8 Guys Fess Up To Whether They’ve Been Naughty or Nice This Year….in Bed”

1. Esquire: “William Faulkner’s Hot Toddy Recipe”
2. Men’s Fitness: “Lose Your Gut”
3. Men’s Journal: “Be A Better Husband”
4. Men’s Health: “5 Heart Saving Foods”
5. Men’s Journal: “The Golden Age Of Beer”
Insight: As far as we can see, men now only sleep in bed.
Ads on a Desert Island 2016

Some twits of England make even our inner-directed advertising workers look good with their Ads on a Desert Island. If you have electricity, TV, etc. why look at ads when you can watch The Americans or Narcos or House of Cards, etc. without ads?
In 2016 we discovered there would be a Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (not a potato in a bowl a football game).  

A recent post/promo on the site for the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl had this ESPN counter: 4 days 11 hours 5 minutes. (Author’s Note: Now that’s content, strategized and curated perfectly.)

We also found: 
A Zaxby's Heart of Dallas Bowl (we think they serve chicken and they also serve “Zalads.”)
A Foster Farms Bowl (chicken, don't know about "Zalads")
A Quicklane Bowl (oil?)
A Russel Athletic Bowl (sports apparel) where the representative teams, West Virginia University and Miami, wear Nike.

The ad spending on the 41 College football bowl games will be over $1 billio. Some teams have records above .500.

In 2016 we heard this radio ad where a guy says: 
"Hiring employees is the worst part of my job." Now, instead of carefully vetting resumes and getting to know capabilities, you can let an algorithm do it for you. If you’re trusted to hire for your company, do it right.

If the world continues, maybe the survivors will circle back. We'll have to de-integrate and begin talking to each other about ideas and perhaps not use ridiculous "business speak."
Content was curated digitally in the writing of this piece.

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About the Author
Brian Keller is the Creative Director at teeny agency in Baltimore. He graduated from the University of Maryland (English), went to grad school at NYU (Cinema Studies), & attends University of Baltimore School of Law.

Brian's been working primarily in the digital space for years but enjoys all communications avenues.

He has built the creative departments at two agencies.

He likes skateboarding with his son. He also falls off his skateboard and amuses his son. When not amusing his son or riding bikes or playing basketball or working he writes for Beyond Madison Avenue & that's why Beyond Madison Avenue appears twice in this sentence.

Find him online here and at www.teenyagency.com.
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