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Mashable's '9 Types of Facebook Users'
By: Jessica Cherok
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It smacks a little of a Cosmo quiz, but it’s still really accurate. Earlier this week, Mashable posted an article outlining "The 9 Types of Facebook Users." While it may have been meant as a humorous infographic for advertisers, let’s take a moment to use it as a self-help tool.

The Stalker — spends an average of 14 times a day logging into Facebook and perusing the profiles of their exes, as well as the profiles of new love interests. A word of advice for those maybe being stalked — turn off the location service and stop checking into places, if you know what’s good for you.

The Baby Boomer — also known as Mom and Dad. They’re not totally sure what Facebook is, but they are darn sure going to figure out how to embarrass you on it.

The Newbie — basically you from 10 years ago. Newbies don’t understand the subtle nuances of Facebook, so your best plan is to hide them from your news feed. After all, they’ll definitely notice if you unfriend them since they’re still into checking their friend count.

The Over-Sharer — they have health, marriage, relationship, financial, work, astronomical, and ecological problems that we all know all about. They’ll never learn, so just delete them.

The Brand Promoter — they’ve just invited you to like their page! And then suggested their page for you! Not a status update goes by without them mentioning their new business. Go ahead and like their page. Then hide their updates.

The Fearful User — also known as Mom and Dad. They’re not totally sure what Facebook is, but they are darn sure not going to use it because it’ll steal their life savings. Doesn’t sound quite as crazy as it did before the NSA spying thing, does it?

The Curator — they want to win the Internet, and are pretty easy to spot thanks to the number of cat videos they upload. If you’re a dog person, hide their updates.

The Gamer — your mom after discovering Farmville.

The Non-User — also known as hipsters. You can find them on Tumblr.

Notice how many times your mom and dad showed up? Let’s go join the Non-User on Tumblr, and leave Facebook to the old folks.

   

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About the Author
Jessica Cherok is an advocate for online privacy, campaigning for ethical data practices and the protection of personal privacy.
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