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If You See My Mother, Don't Tell Her I'm in Advertising...
By: Brian Keller
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Most of us ad people have thick skins and pleasant dispositions. We have thick skins because we fail every day and even our “best work” usually appears in some kind of watered-down fashion after hundreds of revisions of what was a great concept.

Remember, everything you see and hear was probably better when we first thought of it. At least, that’s what we think.

We have pleasant dispositions because we do receive good compensation for being able to exercise our brains, have fun, be creative, be thought leaders, brainstorm by going to see Django Unchained and Zero Dark Thirty, play on the softball team, and work like demons with likeminded, fun people to persuade consumers to see things our client’s way.
 
We have thick skins because sometimes we see blogs/columns that have passages like this:

“Putting it plainly, I hate advertising. I want it to suffer a debilitating and painful disease and then die. It's everywhere, slowly but surely taking over the world. Pretty soon people will have ads tattooed on their bodies as a way to make money.”

We have nice dispositions as evidenced by our thoughtful and kind response to this mystery blogger/columnist’s withering attack on our occupation, business, passion, vocation, avocation.
  
FACTS
As far as advertising taking over the world, take a look at this, mystery blogger/columnist:

From eMarketer: “In 2012 total media ad spending worldwide rose 5.4% this year to just under $519 billion—an uptick in the growth rate since 2011’s increase of 3.6%. Ad spending will continue to climb at a similar pace throughout eMarketer’s forecast period, which extends through 2016. By that year, eMarketer forecasts, worldwide ad spending will top $628 billion.”
 
That doesn’t count production of the work as the production is uncountable. We’ve already taken over the world. So there, round one to us.

Secondly, mystery blogger/columnist, you are off by around four years. In 2009, a gentleman (we think he may be a gentleman) had an ad tattooed on his person. It wasn’t finished, but it’s there.

So there, mystery blogger/columnist. Ad people knew long ago how low people could sink to make money and attract attention to themselves. So, round two to us.

More from mystery blogger/columnist: File under “sounds like an Advertorial to us.”

“Perhaps my favorite product is Comet. It really works! It really does clean and deodorize, just like it says on the can, or jar or whatever that cardboard thing it comes in is called. Yet you never see an ad for Comet.”

Again we answer the mystery blogger/columnist. Comet has a major social media presence and…guess what? A dot com. http://cometcleanser.com. Comet also participates in all kinds of coupon giveaways, co-ops with huge retailers, etcetera, etcetera. That’s advertising. Advertising for Comet is so insidious that some people don’t know Comet advertises. 

Ad people will not be ignored even if you think we aren’t around. As Tom Joad said “I'll be all around in the dark — I'll be everywhere. Wherever you can look, wherever there's a fight, so hungry people can eat, I'll be there.”
 
So there, mystery columnist/blogger; ad people are everywhere, from up front in the Super Bowl to the shadows of coupon land.  

Round three to us.

Editorial (But It’s All Fact)
Without us, you couldn’t “just do it” or “expect more, pay less” or “eat fresh” and “have it your way.”

With us you go further and know why you fly. With us you build something together and protect this house. With us you get the world on time. Are you in good hands, mystery columnist/blogger? A mind is a terrible thing to waste. So, mystery columnist/blogger, you could try to be forgiving and try to live in your world; play in ours. But in any event, we appreciate your comments as, like us, you challenge everything.

Advertising; it keeps going and going and going. I'm lovin' it.


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About the Author
Brian Keller is the Creative Director at teeny agency in Baltimore. He graduated from the University of Maryland (English), went to grad school at NYU (Cinema Studies), & attends University of Baltimore School of Law.

Brian's been working primarily in the digital space for years but enjoys all communications avenues.

He has built the creative departments at two agencies.

He likes skateboarding with his son. He also falls off his skateboard and amuses his son. When not amusing his son or riding bikes or playing basketball or working he writes for Beyond Madison Avenue & that's why Beyond Madison Avenue appears twice in this sentence.

Find him online here and at www.teenyagency.com.
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